Hey there! I'm jumping into this here and incredibly nervous about my journey to continue to be open and vulnerable, as people on the internet these days are VICIOUS, judgmental, and straight up mean; but I also believe there are just as many, if not more, amazing, kind, and understanding individuals who are in the same place as I am, currently going through what I've been through, and/or working on improving everyday. So, let's do the damn thing...
Man. Just typing out that word gives me anxiety. Fear is constantly holding us back. Constantly. The whole reason it has taken me YEARS to start speaking out and being honest about who I am. The fear of being vulnerable, too much, too intense, not enough, judged...
But damn... this is too much. Too much.
It's time to get over that fear because in order for me to accept, believe in, and improve who I am as a person, it's time for me to be open and totally honest with you. Being open and honest with you allows me to accept my flaws and insecurities -- to face them head on and love myself. Yea, I said it. We should love ourselves. Why not?! We laugh and just looking at our children will melt our hearts, but they are just like us. We are essentially raising humans that will, more or less, be like us. Sit back for a moment and close your eyes -- think about your kids all grown up and just imagine themselves thinking all of the bad things about themselves and just hating who they are.
Ouch. Would any decent parent want that for their children? Not a chance. It's time for us to stop and be that change for our own kids. For ourselves.
I hate to be the one to say this, but we will never overcome fear itself. There will always be something to be fearful of... ahh, the beauty of life - am I right?! Where does that fear even come from? Are we born with it? Is it what people instill in us? From our experiences? I'm going to guess that the internet and social media are what has made us even more fearful today because with the click of a button, we have millions and millions of views, opinions, and with any sort of post we put ourselves out there to be judged and ridiculed by others. We can't get rid of fear. But we can change our mindset and learn to understand what we should really be fearful of. More importantly, we can change who we choose to listen to when it comes to criticism.
Take a moment and write down what you want to accomplish on a sheet of paper. Now write down the fear(s) holding you back from achieving that accomplishment.
Here's mine (deep breath):
I want to accomplish being open and vulnerable with people. I want my mess to become my message. I want to help people through difficulties by being open and honest about my history to let people know that they are not alone and they too can take the first step to get to the brighter sides.
My fears in doing that are few, but they are deep. I'm fearful that people will think I'm "crazy" because I'm opening up and being honest about my mental health struggles. I'm fearful of negative feedback from judgmental family. <-- that is a BIG one. My childhood and early adulthood was absolutely awful. I was brainwashed and had lots and lots of issues. I've always lived near family and because I don't talk about my problems with them and my mother does, my family has no idea what I went through and only hear from her perspective. They are clueless. I'm fearful that opening up and being honest with the world and my experiences that it will cause backlash.
Now take that piece of paper that you wrote your fears down on and throw it in the trash. Burn it. Don't give those people and those fears anymore of your time. Just be done with it and move forward to your goals and your accomplishments.
People will always be critical of you. Always. They are working through their own insecurities for crying out loud. People who truly dislike you will find the negative about any situation no matter what you do. It's time to stop worrying about those people and only focus on your goals.
Let's do this. Let's do this together. Set your goals. Find ONE person, just one, that you can wholly confide in and talk to. Someone that you can bounce ideas off of. Get out of that stupid, dumb, and unrealistic prison of trying to seek and earn the approval of everyone. Newsflash!!! Everyone will get along just fine without you needing to make them happy, not to mention, you will leave feeling defeated over and over again as you cannot make everyone happy. It's impossible. Set your boundaries. Get brave. Find your why and LET'S DO THE DAMN THING.
"Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment"
- O P R A H W I N F R E Y
Single mom, photographer, animal lover, and honest to a fault forever. Living in Benson and I left teaching to start a creative business five years ago and hope to inspire others to believe they are capable, good, and in control of their own destiny. Not only do I speak about photography, but about mental health as I believe deeply in making your mess your message because nothing is all sunshine and rainbows. Want to know more? Click below!